Obligatory Big Brother 8 new series post

So like someone who can't stop poking at a bad tooth even though it hurts, I've let myself watch the opening night of the new UK Big Brother.

11 in to start with, all women, which seems a strange choice, but I imagine they'll get some men in over the next few days, although I hear a rumour they'll be sending in ONE, and I don't envy him.

So, first impressions... I won't bother mentioning all of them, because, as usual, at least half of them are so tedious, the only licensing deal they'll be getting when they're inevitably voted out might be from Dulux as a new name for 'beige'.

I think I said last year, the problem is, instead of grabbing a wide range of types of people, they seem to pull a minibus up to a nightclub queue and grab the 12 from the back. This time at least, 3 or 4 of them don't fit the 'waiting at a kebab van at 3am' stereotype.

So, the twins, thingy and whatshername, how is having two pink teenagers squealing at once going to be more interesting than one? They say they've never been apart, so the only fun we can have is vote one out in the first week, and then keep the other one in and watch the fun.

Lesley, 60, exactly the kind of person I've wanted to see go in, being completely different from the tpical BB contestant, and I can already see her struggling internally with not stabbing everyone until the high pitched squeaking stops.

then there's thingy, who 'aspires to look like Victoria Beckham' and thingy, who is a 'wannabe WAG', who should really both hand themselves in at the nearest NHS hospital for spare parts if that's their highest goals in life. Oh and not forgetting thingy, who think she looks like Peaches Geldof, and thingy who 'hates men'.

There's Tracey, who is looking dangerous like a cross between Kitten and Pete, with all the charm of the former and all of the masculinity of the latter. Already annoyed me by constantly talking about herself in the third person. 'Well, that I aint doing, cos Tracey doesnt need to do that, have it!' Either trying way too hard, or genuinely annoying.

Laura, not demanding the spotlight, and comes across as genuinely nice. I won't say favourite, but maybe least hated, heh.

Carole, who's 53 and an 'activist', unfortunately there's maybe only 2 or 3 in there who could spell activist, never mind hold a conversation that didn't revolve around shoes, hair or make-up.

What I have noticed, however, is most of the interest seems to be about ones I've managed to remember the names of, maybe for Big Brother 9 they'll cut back even more on the teenage clubber clones and put some more variety in.

My one big hope is that if they put one man in soon, its someone geeky like the wonderful Eugene from 6 or Jon Tickle from series 2 or 3. Leave em with loads of expectations, and then inflict someone who wants to talk about maths and science.

I can see the girls being cut in numbers pretty damn quickly tho, unless they do something to stamp some individuality on themselves, as about 7 or 8 of them are interchangable, not only with each other, but with half the contestants from any other year.